A Rebuttal to the Rules for Republicans

I came across an interesting blog titled Politics Daily (politicsdaily.blogspot.com) which posed 20 rules for being a good Republican. As one would expect, the rules are sarcastic in nature but a good read nonetheless.

Imagining all the good fun our Democrat brothers and sisters must have had putting the list together, I feel compelled to make my own list. So here are USANow's "Democratic Party Rules of Conduct":

You must place more value on the life of a slug or a snail-darter than an unborn human.

You must cringe when a white male achieves success, and assume he got there by cheating, lying, or stealing, or by taking advantage of a minority person.

You must forget elementary mathematics when it comes to computing the impacts of recent tax cuts, and feign ignorance when you discover that lower class wage earners received a larger percentage tax cut. Furthermore, you must cling to the "wealthiest citizens got a larger break" line despite the fact that the wealthiest 1% of citizens pay more than the bottom 80%.

You must be tolerant of all colors, creeds, and religions except white Christians.

You must declare war against the wealthy, even if you're a congressman who's married to a multi-millionaire heiress.

You must demand that the government take care of all your financial and healthcare needs.

The term "personal responsibility" only applies to other people.

You must have a good, healthy dose of American self-loathing.

You must always assume the worst when it comes to the United States: Our military is incompetent, the FBI listens to all our private conversations, the administration is corrupt, we're in Iraq to steal oil, etc.

You must fight for everybody's right to free speech, except for those who speak out for pro-life issues.

You must ALWAYS step in line with any cause fought for by the ACLU, Green Peace, or Amnesty International.

You must ALWAYS put more creedence in Al-Jazeera than Fox News.

You must ALWAYS trust Al Qaeda before you trust George Bush.

You must believe that illegal immigrants have more rights to higher education than white males.

You must work to raise suspicion that somehow the Bush Administration was complicit in the 9/11 attack.

You must hold to the premise that the US foreign policy must be approved by the United Nations.

You view economics as a zero-sum game, and that somebody's success ALWAYS comes at the expense of somebody else.

You believe that if the United States were suddenly disarmed and our economy collapsed, that the rest of the world would become more peaceful and prosperous.

You believe that big business and big oil are enemies to our nation.