Friday, May 28, 2004

A Rebuttal to the Rules for Republicans

I came across an interesting blog titled Politics Daily ( which posed 20 rules for being a good Republican. As one would expect, the rules are sarcastic in nature but a good read nonetheless.

Imagining all the good fun our Democrat brothers and sisters must have had putting the list together, I feel compelled to make my own list. So here are USANow's "Democratic Party Rules of Conduct":

  • You must place more value on the life of a slug or a snail-darter than an unborn human.
  • You must cringe when a white male achieves success, and assume he got there by cheating, lying, or stealing, or by taking advantage of a minority person.
  • You must forget elementary mathematics when it comes to computing the impacts of recent tax cuts, and feign ignorance when you discover that lower class wage earners received a larger percentage tax cut. Furthermore, you must cling to the "wealthiest citizens got a larger break" line despite the fact that the wealthiest 1% of citizens pay more than the bottom 80%.
  • You must be tolerant of all colors, creeds, and religions except white Christians.
  • You must declare war against the wealthy, even if you're a congressman who's married to a multi-millionaire heiress.
  • You must demand that the government take care of all your financial and healthcare needs.
  • The term "personal responsibility" only applies to other people.
  • You must have a good, healthy dose of American self-loathing.
  • You must always assume the worst when it comes to the United States: Our military is incompetent, the FBI listens to all our private conversations, the administration is corrupt, we're in Iraq to steal oil, etc.
  • You must fight for everybody's right to free speech, except for those who speak out for pro-life issues.
  • You must ALWAYS step in line with any cause fought for by the ACLU, Green Peace, or Amnesty International.
  • You must ALWAYS put more creedence in Al-Jazeera than Fox News.
  • You must ALWAYS trust Al Qaeda before you trust George Bush.
  • You must believe that illegal immigrants have more rights to higher education than white males.
  • You must work to raise suspicion that somehow the Bush Administration was complicit in the 9/11 attack.
  • You must hold to the premise that the US foreign policy must be approved by the United Nations.
  • You view economics as a zero-sum game, and that somebody's success ALWAYS comes at the expense of somebody else.
  • You believe that if the United States were suddenly disarmed and our economy collapsed, that the rest of the world would become more peaceful and prosperous.
  • You believe that big business and big oil are enemies to our nation.
  • No comments: